Home

Once long ago, it seemed things were so simple and light. With time however, things have happened and just as a tree is laden with snow, I am weighed down by all that the world has tried to offer. Like a cold winter and a heavy heart, my soul is longing for the season to change.

How I desire to have your Son shine down on me and melt all my troubles away. To hear the sounds of life come with the spring and feel the warmth of summer.

I am trying to hold on to Your promises that things will not be like this forever but it is difficult when I am just moving from one uncertain direction to another. The path keeps winding and I don't remember which way I've gone as the snow continues to fall and covers my tracks. The bitter winds of the world blow stronger and I can feel my body starting to become numb. Lord, I need You to help me feel sensitivity to Your Word and Work. Don't allow for this season to consume who I am.

As I continue to walk, I see in the distance a bit of light. Hope. That there You will stand at the door of the most beautiful home I will have ever laid eyes on. You will say to me, "Come, stay with me. I have prepared a place for you." There You will take my coat and every other burden I have carried with me for so long and put it away never to be put on again. A seat by the fireplace of Your heart and a blanket wrapped around me. There Your wings will cover and protect me. A hot cup placed in my hands of Your Word, to drink in and feel its soothing truth make its way down into my very soul! What comfort and peace!

That moment, is what I am living for. In that moment, is where I will wait for you. For that moment, is what I will continue to strive towards knowing that You are forever faithful and have loved me since the beginning. That I am not alone. You will come for me and take me home.
© Amaris I. 12/27/2013




"I Hate Christmas Parties" So "Merry Christmas, Here's to many more."

"I look under the tree, but there's nothing to see. 'Cause it's a broken heart that you're giving me. I can't figure you out, is this what Christmas is all about, 'cause it's a broken heart that you're giving me."

"I don't want to talk, I'm sick of all this talking. A broken heart wrapped up in a box, there's teardrops in my stocking."

"I hate Christmas parties, you offer me some punch but I just shrug. I hate Christmas parties, you and the cookie tray both hear me say Bah Humbug."

  Do you feel like that this year?

  Christmas should be a time of celebration and for most people it's about spending time with those they love most.
  However; what about for those that Christmas is a tough Holiday Season and it's just something to "get through" instead of taking in every moment.
  We all come from different walks of life. Maybe you don't have family to celebrate with this year, maybe you've lost a loved one due to their passing. Maybe you've had a bad break-up or a divorce. Maybe you're a single person feeling a bit more lonely during the holiday season. Maybe you do have family around but no one ever really communicates or shows any interest in coming together.

  If you are feeling melancholy this Christmas season I just want to say that it's okay to feel that way. Don't feel that just because everyone else is or seems to be more in the "Christmas spirit" than you are, that you're some terrible person for feeling otherwise. Maybe you are more of a Grinch this time around, it's nothing to feel bad about.
  Things in life happen and sometimes the events that take place change the way we respond. I for one am all about decorating as much as possible with as many lights as possible. Baking and getting caught up in the festivities. I love Christmas! It's my favorite Holiday! This year though, it seems I am not ready for it. It has come so quickly and I feel I wasn't prepared. I'm having to deal with the fact that I didn't plan well and my decor isn't at all up to par with my expectations of "how it should be."
  I feel a bit sad this year for reasons I'm not entirely sure of at the moment... It has been one of those years that instead of listening to joyful happy and merry music, it's been more dull and melancholy and guess what? It doesn't matter. I enjoy it and it's actually soothing for me. I've been listening to songs that minister to my spirit of where I am right now, not where I want to be. I think it's important to be validated in the moment sometimes, so that you can move beyond it.
  Despite everything that I think hasn't fit the bill or didn't meet my expectations. My hopes, dreams and desires that are not even close to being completed. My heart, having been broken on different occasions from different things, I realize that through it all God has been with me and that's enough!

I made it through the year and I did not even collapse 
Gotta say, "Thank God, for that" 
I'm torn between what keeps me whole and what tears me in half 
I'll fall apart or stay intact 

With tired eyes I stumble back to bed 
I need to realize my sorry life's not hanging by a thread 
At least not yet 

It always hurt to be all by myself this time of year 
A cold and lonely Christmas eve 
And living out my days alone 
Well that had been my deepest fear 
But you promised you won't leave 

I look towards the east and see a star 
Jesus Christ, it's blessed my life to know just who you are 
You are my hope 

So, "Merry Christmas, Here's to many more." -Relient K

Ayi yai yai...

Hello Everyone,

  If I seem scatter-brained during this post, it's because I am. I have another post saved as a draft for the moment but I felt compelled to write this out instead. I think I just have so much on my mind to write about at the same time that it makes it hard to sit and concentrate on just one piece at a time. Ha.

  My last post was "quick" as the title said but probably not really an "update". I won't go into details, nothing bad has happened so don't worry, but my lack of writing up here for you all is because I've been busy and was in a season of transitions. Probably still am but I've been trying to just give it all over to God. He has been faithful to direct my steps. [If you'd like to read my post on "Seasons" Click Here]

Quick Update!

  Good Cold and Crisp Morning to you all!

  To my faithful few followers! I'd like to do a quick shout-out and say thank you! There is much to share and I hope to get it all up soon! I hope that you are all well.
  I know it's been a long while since I've posted and I apologize! I'm happy to say though, that I'm finally back and look forward to keeping you updated. Some of you may have noticed the new layout and name. Yes, I've gone through a re-vamping stage. Time to shake things up a little bit. I was getting a little tired of the old look.

  To all of you new people out there, hello and welcome! I hope that you'll enjoy what you read and see here. This just happens to be a short quick post because I haven't been consistent as of late, so this isn't usually the norm, ha.

  Happy Friday everyone and I'll be sure to get more material out soon! Thanks again to those of you that have stuck around this long! You're awesome!

 

"The morning comes on swift wings as the night departs and I must bid my sleep farewell. Alas, I shall greet the day. For at its end comes sleep once again." -Amaris I. ©
 

Seasons

"All of my life, in every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship."

 

 

 

 

  This bridge has been ringing in my ears since Sunday. When I sing this, I feel because it is such an uplifting lighthearted melody, it's easy to just sing along and miss the response of what the lyrics are saying. At least maybe I'm viewing it a little different right now. This leads me to my reason of writing this morning.

 

  As I was looking through my older blog entries over the last couple of years I've noticed many different things, right down to my style of writing and oh my, what appalling grammar... I'm ashamed to even admit that I've made such errors in my writing. [These I have since attempted to correct.

Genie God?

  One... Two... Three little raindrops hit my cheek as I lay on my cot on the roof. I sit up and watch the sky. Suddenly it starts to pour and I get help to stand my cot up, with the mattress tucked in so it wouldn't get wet and stand under a small building on the other side of the roof with just enough room to hug the building with your back and watch the rain fall less than a foot away from you. As my friend/team-mate and I wait out the storm I couldn't help but feel excited. I absolutely love thunderstorms and rain, what an adventure. We figured it would eventually stop and we would go back to sleep. Which it did.
  There's nothing like the smell of the earth after a thunderstorm. It's as if it's been re-birthed and as such, it is fresh and new and for me it's something beautiful and comforting, even when it happens in another country.
  At the same time I couldn't help but think of the tent city right below us. With drenched tarps and tents that provided little shelter for one person let alone a family.

Outline of Haiti Happenings

[Here it is: Some bits of actual writings from my personal prayer journal about my recent mission trip to Haiti. (In some kind of order). Most of it is what I wrote then, I'm sure I'll be adding my own thoughts through it. The post-trip thoughts will be in blue]

Sat.

Jan 26, 2013

Dear God, 

So this is it. The team all made it safely to O'Hare and after having a nice iced mocha from McDonald's, considering we all had to meet at 4am, I'm feeling pretty good.

  I still can't believe this is already happening. It is a blessing to know you have the body of Christ supporting us as a team through prayer. I am looking forward to seeing what God is going to do on this trip for us all. 

  We have such a great team, it's a good combo and I know You have a purpose for each one of us while we're here. I pray that we would all be open to hearing Your voice and not just that, but to act on it as well.

  We met a few people who are part of the Rotary [sp] club who are also going to Haiti on a missions trip, providing glasses for those who need them. They are from Wisconsin. Small world. The gentleman sitting with Mary and I was very pleasant to talk with.

  It's funny, the leader for their group I saw is reading "When Helping Hurts," Crazy. [This is a book that our team was reading prior to our mission trip]. They will be working in Haiti for 16 days. 

2013

  So... It's here. Seems, in a way, that it was quite impatient to get here. I'm not quite sure I feel the same...

  Ringing in the New Year is always a wonderful time of being with friends and family, playing games, eating good food, sharing stories and favorite memories, perhaps singing and dancing to a song or two. Maybe it's watching football or movies together until the time draws nearer and in unison, everyone counts down.

10... 9...