Benumbed

Benumbed

There she stands. Boots, a light jacket, a scarf and a millinery embracing her flowing locks. The colours around her begin to fade until they've become black and white. Herself soon to follow, as if the life was being drained out like blood from her being. From vibrant and saturated to sepia and then monochrome, she soon blends in with the atmosphere.

A chill sweeps through the air and a sense of horripilation comes upon her. It seemed the Season changed so quickly and she didn't feel it. Dead frosted leaves crunch beneath her soles as she makes her way down the path of a once animated and music filled forest. Tiny snowflakes start to float all around. 

Every sound overlooked when there was an abundance of noise but now every reverberation is magnified by silence. Silence. Oh sweet silence. To stop and hear the earth grow quiet. A moment she wishes would last a while and freeze in time. Nevermind that she can feel nothing in the cold and has become paralyzed to sensation. 

In that moment of complete and utter stillness she realizes, perhaps it wasn't she who was blending with the colourless backdrop. Perhaps it was the backdrop reflecting what she felt deep within. It mimicked her apathy and her perspective had been jaded. Yet still, she is set apart. While everything around is black and white, she is monochrome. A slight hint of silver, light, that is circulating through her veins. She provides the contrast needed to reflect this pointed scene.

That beauty can be found even in a benumbed stupor. 

-Amaris I.©
 

Untitled

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Go here, Go there

Do this, Do that

Caught up in the busyness when I probably  don't need to be

What happened to order, to time

Maybe if I took a step back, I wouldn't see blurred lines

The mat says Welcome. Don't be shocked, you walked into an ugly part of me. If you can't handle it, there's the door.

My my my... it has been quite some time since I've been able to make time to write.

  It seems that so much has been happening and at the same time, nothing really. Lately however; the Lord has been teaching me how to have patience and grace. Neither of these mind you have I perfected and mastered. That may never actually happen now that I think about it and that's okay. The idea, however; is that the Lord in his great grace, mercy and patience, helps me to continue pressing into Him for these things to be perfected in Him and by Him alone.

  What brings me to share about patience and grace you ask? Well, where to begin really.

  My grandmother on my dad's side has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and has had it for a few years now. It is not easy by any means. Anyone that tries to tell you otherwise, has not experienced it first-hand and does not understand. I don't mean that to sound harsh. Here is what I'm getting at.

Surrender All

A piece I wrote 03/15/2014. This was something the Lord had been pressing on my heart even a few weeks before I actually wrote this. Things He was showing me and I wrestling with Him. Thought I would share it with you all.

Surrender All

Is it Him? Is He really speaking to me? No, maybe not. It's been so long and I mean, after all, I'm pretty sure He wouldn't ask that of me anyway.

Time passes and then again, "Lord? Are You really asking me this? But you know my heart, my dreams and desires. This isn't even something bad. I could understand if it was something horrible. But this? Why?"

"You need to surrender this area of your life to Me. And not just that, but everything and anyone that is attached to it." Clear as day. I have longed to hear my God speak to me. To hear His still, calm, firm yet loving voice and here it was before me with a command of such depth. Oh, how my heart has become pained with the very thought.

"But Lord, if I give you this, You may not give it back..." All He says in return, "Do you trust Me with your heart, your future?" "Of course! I don't doubt your goodness and your faithfulness. Just what I fear most is, if I fully commit to this path, I don't know how long it's going to take or how painful it's going to be..." "Do you trust Me? Will you still praise and worship Me, will you still follow Me even if I don't give this back to you?" Silence...

Two entire days of complete agony have now overcome my heart and soul as I wrestle within myself to truly surrender all. I thought I had, I spoke out about it before only to realize I never really dealt with it in the first place. Oh my God, please help me! Help my unbelief!

Day Three, I breathe deep and feel a desire, a dream, just slip away and this time I don't try to hold on to what I can with my fingertips. It is gone. Thank You Lord that I'm still alive, everything seems to be going well.

Then, that day... I had never realized perhaps how strong this dream of mine was until I was confronted with something that would then challenge the fact that I had already dealt with this. "You didn't really surrender this to God." The enemy tells me, but quickly as that thought came, my Prince was there with powerful words of His own that trumped that nasty foe. "You have surrendered it to me, but remember pick up your cross DAILY and follow me. Every time it comes up, all you need to do is continually surrender it to Me. Trust Me. I love you." Peace...

And so daily I press into Him, daily I pick up my cross. Sometimes it feels easy and light, while others burdensome and painful, yet because of my God's faithfulness, He is helping my unbelief and giving me strength to surrender all. -Amaris I. ©
 

Merci Jésus! [Part One]

  What can I say? I feel the tires of the plane make contact with the ground below and now here I am back Stateside. I can't believe how quickly the time went.

  Just a week ago, I was in Haiti with a good team of people. Old friends and new.

Arrived in Port Au Prince

Merci!

I have returned!

  I wanted to say thank you to all who have generously given to help support me in going to Haiti this year. I truly love and thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
  It has been a wonderful experience going back for the third time and continuing to build relationships with familiar faces.
  This could not be done without the support of you all! Through your steadfast prayers and giving spirits to help send myself and the team, off to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Haiti 2014!

Hello my fellow readers!

  Yes, you read that title correctly! Haiti you ask? Well, I'm going to Haiti, March 1-8.

  For those of you who may not have known me up until recently, I'll share a little background. In 2010 I had the opportunity to go to Haiti after the earthquake hit earlier that year. I went with a group from the church I attend and we partnered with an organization called: Forward Edge.

Upon arrival to Port Au Prince, the devastation was beyond anything even pictures could show... it was a "see it to believe" kind of moment. Surreal... Rubble everywhere, trash and water flooded all the main roads. People living in tent cities and chaos. Our hearts were broken with what we saw.
  Getting to attend a Haitian church service opened my eyes to a kind of faith that I had always dreamed of for myself. These people, who in everyone else's eyes had lost everything, were there to worship the Lord and give Him their time and their best. Despite the obvious, things falling apart around them, they were much richer than I.

   We went to Jacmel, Haiti to help build a school located on a Haitian Church property. We also helped to create a foundation for a house that was going to be built for a family of that church. It would be their first home. We were able to connect with the family we were building for, the pastor of the church and many children!

   In 2012, members of my church again, went to Haiti. This time I stayed and felt God's calling in my life to just study counseling. I was very torn over this because my heart was for Haiti and for missions since a very young age. Despite my sadness of not going, I stayed and obeyed God's direction.
  Little did I know that these few classes were intended to prepare me for January 2013. This is when God opened the door and said "Go!" And so I went to Haiti. This time to Carrefour where our church since 2012 has been invested in Mariani Church. [A little village within Carrefour].

   It was amazing to see how far Haiti had come from the 2010 earthquake. Port au Prince had been cleared up to were the streets weren't completely flooded over with water and waste. There were still people living in tent cities right there in the capital and this will continue to take time. But the progress that had been made, was definitely worth God's praise!

  In Carrefour, we visited Mariani church and we attended their service. It was so packed that the building itself seemed to burst at the seams with people who had come to hear the gospel. We went with the intention of helping to build a school on their property, upon arrival we saw that they had already done so. Not anything fancy but it was put up. This was a definite praise as well! This sort of movement and drive in the Haitian people is what we pray for. Their own church body had been saving money so that they could build it for the children. It's not finished completely and they would like to add more but now the children can have Sunday School.

   We ended up working alongside the Haitians to expand their church. We had to level flooring to put down cement and get cinder blocks to extend the church walls. The goal was that so when people came to church, they wouldn't have to be outside in the heat of the day. That they would be covered. I was surprised by how much those counseling classes helped me. I was able to connect with people better, even through a language barrier. God is so good.

This leads me to why I am writing. I will be leaving for Haiti again, March 1-8 of this year, 2014.
   If you would like to partner with us, Trinity Community Church in our project "Grow Mariani" you can visit http://tcchaiti.com/ and find out all kinds of information. Even a blog with a piece written from a team member who went with us last year.
  We hope to go back to the Mariani Church and see how they are doing as well as helping to continue to build on the church and the school there.
  There is also a town that we walked last year to do street ministry and that was very fruitful. Pray for those who were converted from Voodoo worship and are now serving the Lord. That discipleship would take root. There are lots of different areas that we have an opportunity to serve and we want to follow God's leading.


   Please consider praying for our team. For safety, for opportunities to minister to those that God would place around us. Pray that we would go as "students", that we would be teachable. That the Lord would provide the people He wants to continue the ministry there long after we're gone. That once again, true discipleship would take root! Pray about whether the Lord would like you to give to this project.

   If you're not the praying kind of person but would still like to help, you have an opportunity to give. At the website above, you can donate to the team as a whole or a team member. For a team member, all you need to do is type in my name. Amaris Nazario. Just click the "give" tab and it'll walk you through the steps for an online donation.
  If you would like to send a check instead, make it payable to the church "Trinity Community Church", in the memo you can put "Haiti" if you like. DO NOT put my name on the check otherwise it will not be tax deductible. You can however, write my name on a post-it instead or separate letter to include WITH the check so that they know who's fundraising account to put it towards.

   Thank you for taking the time to go through this rather lengthy letter. I look forward to sharing with you all how this trip of 2014 goes. I expect God will do great things! In the team as a whole and as individuals.

   If you have any questions about the trip, Haiti in general, my experiences while being there and other projects we will be doing or if you would like to give please feel free to contact me by using the "contact me" form here on my blog. I'd love the chance to communicate with you and thank you personally for any donations!

Thank you!

Nail Care Review of 2013! Part Two!

Hey Ladies!

  Sorry it's been so long between posts but here it is. Part Two of my nail care review and we'll start with:

Cuticle Care

Believe it or not, unhealthy cuticles can also be a recipe for weak nails and breakage. I have found it is harder to retain moisture for your cuticles during the winter months because it's so dry out.

Now, I picked up this bottle of "Cuticle Away" at local CVS/Pharmacy. I can't remember how much it cost but I bought it around the summer of last year and I still have a lot left in it. I seriously think it's a good investment. I haven't been able to find it anywhere else at the moment. If you find it elsewhere, please let me know in the comments below!

The orange wood stick pictured above I got in a package from Sally's Beauty Supply. They are lasting me quite a long while.

With this liquid/gel, you want to put it on your cuticle and let it sit for maybe about 2 minutes [to soften them] before going in with your orange wood stick and cleaning them up. Wash your hands afterwards and then you can start painting!

Now, I've been wanting to try out Essie's Apricot Cuticle Oil and I finally caved in and bought some. Oh my word! I absolutely love that stuff! Leaves your fingers feeling smooth and healthy and by golly does it smell delicious!

I also picked up a bottle of Essie's "Millionails" Treatment. Love it! They are pictured here below.

These are definitely my newest favorites! 

• Top Coats

  Right now I'm really liking these two pictured below. One is by Sally Hansen called "Diamond Strength No Chip Nail Color" and the other is by Revlon. "Extra Life No Chip Top Coat". Both work real well.

 The point of the top coat is to help your manicure to last longer. I usually put a top coat on maybe every 2-3 days depending if and when I remember. This again, will just improve the life of your manicure.

 

• Hand Lotion

  This is definitely one key that will enhance the look of your manicure plus a great way to put your best hand[s] forward when meeting and greeting people. In the winter, it is best to go with a crème based lotion. It's thicker, it'll last longer and retain moisture in your skin a whole lot better than a regular hand lotion.

  I am currently using a body crème that I bought from Bath and Body Works. Sorry that I don't have a photo of that. Realized I forgot to take one as I'm writing here. But I'll insert a web link here that will show you what I'm talking about.

  That is the name of the crème I am currently using and I love it.

 

  Well, I hope that this was helpful. Let me know what some of your favorite products are. I'd love to hear about them.

 

  Have a great weekend!

 

 

Nail Care Review of 2013! Part One!

Hello my readers!

  Happy New Year! I hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season.

  So, this entry is going to be quite different from what I typically post. Yes, you read the title correctly, this post is going to be my review of a few products I've been testing out last year and thought that I would go ahead and share them with you ladies! [Sorry guys, I'll try to have something more general up soon.]

  It's winter time and it can be hard to keep up a decent manicure. For those of you who may be struggling with this, maybe some of what I'm going to share here will help you. Before I get into it however; I want to put it out there that I'm not a professional nail tech and I do not claim to be. This is all information that I've either researched myself or tested on my own. These are just a few things that have worked for me and I thought, why not share! So here we go.