I'm Buffering... Part One

  Arg... you moan with annoyance, perhaps even hit the table, the couch, your face, a cat, or whatever else happens to be nearby because there it is before you. The spinning circle of death.

Mission Focused

"Is materialism a blind spot in American Christianity today? More specifically, is materialism a blind spot in your Christianity today? Surely this is something we must uncover, for if our lives do not reflect radical compassion for the poor, there is reason to question just how effective we will be in declaring the glory of Christ to the ends of the earth. More pointedly, if our lives do not reflect radical compassion for the poor, there is reason to wonder if Christ is really in us at all." -David Platt

A pretty strong statement is it not? The first time I read it, I had to read it again as it cut to my heart and was almost offended by it, but when I really thought about it, I found this to be so true. It's like what King David says: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23-24

How many times have I heard this quoted but not really grasp the meaning of it. Going to Haiti over the past few years

The Journey

Oh to sit and epistolize what has afflated my soul. It is quite possible it may come off as babelism, but how can one not utter what has brought to one such astir? I am beamish at the very cogitation that after such an extensive period of time, a ballast has been instilled to keep me constant. Like an Ambit fixed True North, I find that more freedom is given when I stay the course.

  One path traveled afresh, the journey of forgiveness. Seventy times seven. Four hundred and ninety, three thousand four hundred and thirty. Incalculable. How can one so coolly offer such grace to what or who we see as undeserving? I in my own fortitude cannot. Would not. By Divine intervention could I release such resentment.

  The grapnel that encased my heart for so long, has been pryed apart, tossed to the sea and crushed by the waves. My ship has left the moor, the sails have been raised and a strong  Wind carries me towards the Island of Blessing. The Island where pure treasure is yet to be discovered. 

  I anticipate the life of a sojourner and keep my sight fixed on what lies before me. On towards the sparkling waters that touch the crimson sun in the evenings and strain to embrace all the glory during the day. The adventure has only just begun. 

-Amaris I.©
 

The mat says Welcome. Don't be shocked, you walked into an ugly part of me. If you can't handle it, there's the door.

My my my... it has been quite some time since I've been able to make time to write.

  It seems that so much has been happening and at the same time, nothing really. Lately however; the Lord has been teaching me how to have patience and grace. Neither of these mind you have I perfected and mastered. That may never actually happen now that I think about it and that's okay. The idea, however; is that the Lord in his great grace, mercy and patience, helps me to continue pressing into Him for these things to be perfected in Him and by Him alone.

  What brings me to share about patience and grace you ask? Well, where to begin really.

  My grandmother on my dad's side has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and has had it for a few years now. It is not easy by any means. Anyone that tries to tell you otherwise, has not experienced it first-hand and does not understand. I don't mean that to sound harsh. Here is what I'm getting at.

"I Hate Christmas Parties" So "Merry Christmas, Here's to many more."

"I look under the tree, but there's nothing to see. 'Cause it's a broken heart that you're giving me. I can't figure you out, is this what Christmas is all about, 'cause it's a broken heart that you're giving me."

"I don't want to talk, I'm sick of all this talking. A broken heart wrapped up in a box, there's teardrops in my stocking."

"I hate Christmas parties, you offer me some punch but I just shrug. I hate Christmas parties, you and the cookie tray both hear me say Bah Humbug."

  Do you feel like that this year?

  Christmas should be a time of celebration and for most people it's about spending time with those they love most.
  However; what about for those that Christmas is a tough Holiday Season and it's just something to "get through" instead of taking in every moment.
  We all come from different walks of life. Maybe you don't have family to celebrate with this year, maybe you've lost a loved one due to their passing. Maybe you've had a bad break-up or a divorce. Maybe you're a single person feeling a bit more lonely during the holiday season. Maybe you do have family around but no one ever really communicates or shows any interest in coming together.

  If you are feeling melancholy this Christmas season I just want to say that it's okay to feel that way. Don't feel that just because everyone else is or seems to be more in the "Christmas spirit" than you are, that you're some terrible person for feeling otherwise. Maybe you are more of a Grinch this time around, it's nothing to feel bad about.
  Things in life happen and sometimes the events that take place change the way we respond. I for one am all about decorating as much as possible with as many lights as possible. Baking and getting caught up in the festivities. I love Christmas! It's my favorite Holiday! This year though, it seems I am not ready for it. It has come so quickly and I feel I wasn't prepared. I'm having to deal with the fact that I didn't plan well and my decor isn't at all up to par with my expectations of "how it should be."
  I feel a bit sad this year for reasons I'm not entirely sure of at the moment... It has been one of those years that instead of listening to joyful happy and merry music, it's been more dull and melancholy and guess what? It doesn't matter. I enjoy it and it's actually soothing for me. I've been listening to songs that minister to my spirit of where I am right now, not where I want to be. I think it's important to be validated in the moment sometimes, so that you can move beyond it.
  Despite everything that I think hasn't fit the bill or didn't meet my expectations. My hopes, dreams and desires that are not even close to being completed. My heart, having been broken on different occasions from different things, I realize that through it all God has been with me and that's enough!

I made it through the year and I did not even collapse 
Gotta say, "Thank God, for that" 
I'm torn between what keeps me whole and what tears me in half 
I'll fall apart or stay intact 

With tired eyes I stumble back to bed 
I need to realize my sorry life's not hanging by a thread 
At least not yet 

It always hurt to be all by myself this time of year 
A cold and lonely Christmas eve 
And living out my days alone 
Well that had been my deepest fear 
But you promised you won't leave 

I look towards the east and see a star 
Jesus Christ, it's blessed my life to know just who you are 
You are my hope 

So, "Merry Christmas, Here's to many more." -Relient K

Ayi yai yai...

Hello Everyone,

  If I seem scatter-brained during this post, it's because I am. I have another post saved as a draft for the moment but I felt compelled to write this out instead. I think I just have so much on my mind to write about at the same time that it makes it hard to sit and concentrate on just one piece at a time. Ha.

  My last post was "quick" as the title said but probably not really an "update". I won't go into details, nothing bad has happened so don't worry, but my lack of writing up here for you all is because I've been busy and was in a season of transitions. Probably still am but I've been trying to just give it all over to God. He has been faithful to direct my steps. [If you'd like to read my post on "Seasons" Click Here]

Seasons

"All of my life, in every season

You are still God

I have a reason to sing

I have a reason to worship."

 

 

 

 

  This bridge has been ringing in my ears since Sunday. When I sing this, I feel because it is such an uplifting lighthearted melody, it's easy to just sing along and miss the response of what the lyrics are saying. At least maybe I'm viewing it a little different right now. This leads me to my reason of writing this morning.

 

  As I was looking through my older blog entries over the last couple of years I've noticed many different things, right down to my style of writing and oh my, what appalling grammar... I'm ashamed to even admit that I've made such errors in my writing. [These I have since attempted to correct.

Genie God?

  One... Two... Three little raindrops hit my cheek as I lay on my cot on the roof. I sit up and watch the sky. Suddenly it starts to pour and I get help to stand my cot up, with the mattress tucked in so it wouldn't get wet and stand under a small building on the other side of the roof with just enough room to hug the building with your back and watch the rain fall less than a foot away from you. As my friend/team-mate and I wait out the storm I couldn't help but feel excited. I absolutely love thunderstorms and rain, what an adventure. We figured it would eventually stop and we would go back to sleep. Which it did.
  There's nothing like the smell of the earth after a thunderstorm. It's as if it's been re-birthed and as such, it is fresh and new and for me it's something beautiful and comforting, even when it happens in another country.
  At the same time I couldn't help but think of the tent city right below us. With drenched tarps and tents that provided little shelter for one person let alone a family.

2013

  So... It's here. Seems, in a way, that it was quite impatient to get here. I'm not quite sure I feel the same...

  Ringing in the New Year is always a wonderful time of being with friends and family, playing games, eating good food, sharing stories and favorite memories, perhaps singing and dancing to a song or two. Maybe it's watching football or movies together until the time draws nearer and in unison, everyone counts down.

10... 9...

Epic Win

  This may more or less start as an incomplete thought but hopefully it will make sense towards the end.

  Today, after reflecting on some things earlier this week and coming from 3D last night talking with my small group girls, I finally started to understand what the Lord has been showing me. I suppose sometimes I can be a bit slow when it comes to a lesson God has been teaching me. Then again... when I really think about it, aren't we all? God isn't something you can just get because He's so infinite and none of us will truly understand and know Him till Christ comes back, however; that is also part of the adventure. Discovering new things about Him and in my own opinion, it never gets old.

  So, being that Monday I had the unexpected privilege of helping Kyle Adams, the tight-end for the bears at my job, [Click here to read on his experience/work in Haiti last summer]

Plip Plop, Raindrops

  I hear the rain as it hits my windowpane and think, wow... God is amazing. I just simply adore Him and all His goodness. It's quite late and though I should be asleep, I just felt compelled to write.

  The sound of water falling from the sky has to be one of my favorite things to hear and to know that the Lord, the One who created the world, made something like rain that is so soothing to my soul. Such a small thing.
  I think it's safe to say that everyone likes a little rain. To venture and say that everyone likes a lot of it might be a stretch. This makes me ponder my spiritual life and if I'm just plip plopping around in life without any real purpose or intention of watering those around me.

  Yes, rain can be a small thing, but with a little help from a strong wind, it can definitely go places. That's how I want my life to be. Though I may be a small droplet in the world, I know that I have a God who is more than big enough to help me make a huge impact in the lives of those around me, for the better.
  Storms can be scary sometimes, but how else are things going to get stirred up, shaken, wiped clean? When it's all over and the rain starts to slow down to a steady trickle, we can walk out and see a bit of sunshine start to creep in and be completely content with the plip plop of the raindrops, knowing that it gave us something we needed. Water to bring life. Just the same, Christ has done for us. He brought us life, real life giving water and on occasion has to stir things up a bit, but for our own good. To make an impact on us so that we in turn can make an impact on others.

  Night~

For those BLAH sort of days...

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,

for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." -Galatians 6:9

   This verse has been one of my many favorite verses of encouragement. There are a lot of times where we feel that we are doing everything right as we know how, wanting to please God and doing things in a way that glorifies Him. We seek honestly to serve Him and though we may do things right, unpleasant things happen or go down in our lives that seem unfair and we just don't understand why it's happening to us when all we know is that we haven't done anything to deserve certain things. In some cases it would seem that all of our good things go unnoticed quite often and that there is no point to continue working as hard as some of us do.

Eni Mini Miny Moe!!

  Today was quite the adventure I must say. I think that's part of the beauty of not knowing what's going to happen. Honestly, how boring would that be if we knew everything. I sure wouldn't want to know, takes the fun out of experiencing things in the moment.

  Let me start this story with a very sunny and warm Sunday of sand volleyball.

Invest your money, not your life.

  This is the slogan I received from a bank. It is good to invest our money, to provide us with security and create good retirement plans and all that. None of which is a bad thing, it's realistic for the time we mortals live on this earth, what we need to get by. How long we will be here, we don't know. However, to have the mentality that that's all there is to life, work hard and invest our money, so we can have nice houses, cool cars, and great clothes, then we are missing the main point and that advice to "Invest your money, not your life." isn't the best out there to hear and put into practice.

A lesson with Jacob. Encouragment from Hosea.

"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with Him. And He said, 'Let Me go, for the day breaks.' But he said, 'I will not let You go unless You bless me!' So He said to him, 'What is your name?' He said, 'Jacob.' And He said, 'Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.' Then Jacob asked, saying, 'Tell me Your name, I pray.' And He said, 'Why is it that you ask about My name?' And He blessed him there." -Genesis 32:24-29

Notes:

  The Man is identified by Hosea as an angel.

Something New

  Wow, I know it has been a long while since I've written but a lot of things have happened and sometimes hard to keep up with a blog. However, my inspiration for this new year of 2011 is found in a couple of my favorite verses.

  "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you." Isaiah 43:2

  That was the Lord's promise to His people when they were to leave Egypt. All they had to do was trust in Him and let Him fight their battles as they followed in His will. Because of God's promise here I also want to be able to go where He leads and trust that regardless of what I may pass through, that it won't consume me. I serve a BIG God.

  One of my other favorites is this:

  "Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

  This also I will be applying for the new year. I'm excited to see what He will do and where I will go. Yesterday is gone, today is here and tomorrow isn't promised, so it's important to live in the now and live it for His glory because how can I not praise Him for all He's done seeing all the wonderful things He has blessed me with this past year? The scriptures say that even nature itself praises Him.

"Let heaven and earth praise Him, The seas and everything that moves in them." -Psalm 69:33

"And the heavens will praise Your wonders, O Lord; Your faithfulness also in the assembly of the saints." Psalm 89:5

  This is my prayer for the New Year. There is always talk of what new year resolutions you have and they are nice, I just like to make them and submit them in prayer. If I'm not successful, the Lord's grace is sufficient to wipe away all of what I do wrong and give blessings even when I don't deserve them. The latter is what amazes me always, how I can be so very undeserving and He is still constant, faithful, loving, giving and embracing. What a God, what a Savior, oh be still my heart... it's been stolen by my Jesus and how I love Him. ♥

Worry

_____________________________

Matthew 13:22 "The thorny ground represents those who hear and accept the Good News, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares of this life."

Colossians 3:2 "Let Heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think only about things down here on earth."

  Worry is like thorny plants--both crowd out what is good. Our worry over the concerns of life becomes sin when it prevents the Word of God from taking root in our life.

  Why do I worry so much? How can I worry less?

God Remembers, God delivers, God restores

  In preparing my message on Zechariah for tonight at 3D I thought to myself, how can I make this book relevant to these junior highers. Are they even going to understand what I'm talking about? More so, what does God wants them to hear and understand? I outlined what I was going to talk about and prayed asking the Lord that whatever He wanted me to say, I would, and whatever He didn't want me to say, I wouldn't. Just enough so that the kids could hear and get what His point is. That we should repent, and follow the call He has given to us. Not to waste time on things that we think are good for us, when in reality the Lord wants to give us sooo much more. Here is small bit of what I posted to the 3D blog below:

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know all about You

  I was just thinking of that song from the King and I, not sure why... but either way, I thought of how I want to get to know Christ and know all about Him. Truth may be though that none of us will ever understand or know God, He is too mysterious for us to comprehend. However, getting to the real reason of writing this,

Patience Is A Virtue

"Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all." 1 Thessalonians 5:14

  I've felt like I've been truly tested this week. My patience has been waning if you will and I've noticed how hard it is just to keep my peace, even at work when dealing with some unruly customers who in my opinion, shouldn't feel frustrated with me if I haven't done anything but try to help them and speaking kindly.

  Granted, I never know what the person might have been going through in just that one day that I had no idea of, so it could be a bad day for them, at the same time, they don't know what I may be going through and sometimes when dealing with someone who has an attitude it just sparks flames of frustration on both ends.